Beloved

Its been 2 months, exactly 2 months since the end of what i would call an epic battle where my sister in all her strength and valour fought against leukemia and later on included 2 different infections. Traces of my sister still permeate the room and apartment i stay in Australia. The events that happened when i was young, when she defended me, cheered me up, pissed me off, broke off one of my fingernails by accident when closing a window, me commenting on her raiding timing when playing WoW... Its really endless. The song amazing grace still fills my head as i remember the bus that carried my sister's body to the creamation hall, it all seems so yesterday. Even just the day before, i had a dream where i was praying desparately for my sister to get well, where she was still alive to only wake and and realise in dread the harshness of reality.

To my late sister i wrote a song last month, which is the first month anniversary. With whatever music capacity i had, i wrote the song named: Beloved. Below are the lyrics though the chords are not included.

Beloved

(Verse A)
As the seasons pass,
Under the clear blue sky,
Just as it has been before,
That same wind blows by again

(Verse B)
Moving through the green grass,
Smiling serenely everywhere,
Flowers flowing pass the princess,
In that twilight of the eye

(Bridge)
Once again the pain has come again,
But you stood right against it,
Moving against the strong current,
Was what touched the hundreds

(Chorus A)
Dearest Beloved
So what now? Now where have you gone?
Once again you have gone right beyond my reach
And again I'll have you waiting for me

You knew it yourself, no matter where you went
Your're on your own again and i'm so sorry
You were the inspiration of my life

Ah~ just like before
From the start you were everyone's beloved

(Bridge 2)
The times you fell down again
You always stood up again
Not shedding a single tear
For the sake of those you love

(Chorus B)
Dearest beloved
Have you escaped all that haunts you?
With love you always stood so strong
Just like you have done to the end

Where have you gone?
You are wanted by everyone
Come back if you can, you are so wanted
Let us see you just that one last time

Ah~ just like before
From the start you were everyone's beloved
Ah~just like now
You are still everyone's beloved

To all whom know and met my sister. I thank you for shaping her life, bringing joy and colour into her. For when i was young, the one that influenced me the most was my sister and still do even in her passing. I really can't thank enough those who were by her side at the last moments praying and from the bottom of my heart wished that i had that chance to be there myself. To various friends that helped me out alot during this period (Kai Jin, Tanny, Nicholas, abby, Steven, Jack and Amos especially) and still do, i give you my thanks. To my sister's friends whom i see great grief, distress and effort (in helping out etc) i'm really touched (Rui ying, Edmund, Si Ying, Ler Shan, Alvin, my sister's church cell group members and of course Jon. And again this only shows what i have seen and not mean who grieves more or less etc etc). Oh yes, to her friends whom she met in her stay in the hospital, Zinny etc. I know i'm bitching alot here, but i also thank my relatives for being there then and even now.

I do not wish to be my sister, but i do want to show with my life how she lived and how she influenced those around her....

Just like now,
You are still my beloved...